SON

Happy Tuesday,

How is everyone doing this fine Tuesday afternoon? Ready for the new week? It’s a new day, a new week and a new beginning. Remember, every day we get to start over and make each day something new and wonderful. Today we get a fresh start to be better then we were yesterday. I hope your day is a new start to being even more amazing than you were yesterday. Keep those comments coming please, I love hearing from each and everyone of you.

I was thinking about being a mom, my mom and all the other moms out there that I personally know. I don’t have that warm fuzzy relationship with my mother that I see others have. I’m not sure I ever did. I don’t remember the last time I was close to her. I don’t blame her, it is simply we have different views on life. I can honestly say, my mother and I think differently on every level, we parent differently, we love differently, we are different and our differences don’t allow for a relationship. I was talking to my brother John about this the other day and he said it perfectly, you just get to a point when you stop caring. You love them, but you don’t put the energy into caring any longer about being accepted by them. Not just my mom, but different people in general. Family isn’t always blood, most of the time they are those whom you chose to invite into your family circle, they are your partners, yours kids, and whoever else accepts you for you and loves you unconditionally for being yourself. I’m lucky to have my brothers in my life, I’m blessed to have them as my family, well most of them that is.

As far as moms are concerned, I am one, a pretty darn good one if I do say so myself, at least that was the truth when the boys were growing up. My sons are grown and living their own lives. They are both successful and doing their own thing. They are not just my sons, they are my reason for living. Tommy and Kevin are the loves of my life. They are the most important mark I can ever leave on this world when I’m gone. “No-one will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knew what my heart sounds like from the inside.” I know along the way I’ve made mistakes, disappointed you, however, one thing is for certain, my love for you has never faded, it’s only grown stronger.

“I gave birth to you, but you came with no instructions. All I knew was that I loved you long before I saw you… I know I made some mistakes and for that I am sorry, but I was doing the best I could with what I knew, everything I did for you. I did from love. You are my son, my life, my dreams for tomorrow. I will always love you and there is nothing that could ever destroy my love for you…”-mothersquotes.com. I remember being pregnant with Tommy and having to stay in bed for the first 4 months. I would talk to him all day every day. I would read to him, sing to him and just rub my belly because from the moment I knew he existed, I was madly and deeply in love. He was a fighter from conception. He had to be. I lost 4 babies before him. When he finally came into this world and I got to hold him, I never wanted to put him down. I held him as much as humanly possible. I promised him the world. I lived my life entirely for him, that is until Kevin came along. Funny, I never thought it was possible to love someone as much as I loved Tommy, but when I knew Kevin existed, I felt more love then I ever thought possible.

When the boys were born, I had no one to get advice from, no mother who would help me navigate motherhood. I was told that I was the one that wanted kids, so basically, figure it out. I had a husband that was never taught love and affection, so sadly, he didn’t know how to be supportive. It truly is amazing that the boys turned out as wonderful as they are. Sure, they have their faults, but they still walk on water as far as I’m concerned. “The bond between mother and son lasts a lifetime. The bond between mother and son is a special one. It remains unchanged by time or distance. It is the purest love, unconditional and true. It is understanding of any situation and forgiving of any mistake.”-motherquotes.

As a mother to sons, they need certain things from me. My sons need me to let them go and live their lives. My sons need to know it’s okay to venture out and it’s okay if they fall or even fail from time to time. It teaches them how to grow and become who they were meant to be. My sons need to see me fall. They need to see me make mistakes and admit to those mistakes. When they see me fall, fail and make a mess of things, it teaches them compassion, selflessness, courage, kindness, honesty and humility. How can they ever be allowed to make a mistake and own it, if their mother can’t admit and own her mistakes? Showing them and being totally open and honest gives them freedom. Freedom from pride and arrogance. They learn to accept not only my circumstances but their own, no matter what they look like. It shows them that I don’t always have the answer and that’s okay because they don’t either, yet together, we can find the answer and figure things out.

I hope if I taught my boys nothing else in this life I taught them this. Through out their lives, I hope they know they can find me in one of three places. I will be in front of them to cheer them on, behind them to catch them should they fall or beside them so they never feel alone. Being a mom is an honor at the same time challenging. I hope my children know that I loved them enough to bug them about where they were going and who they were going with. I loved them enough to be so overly protective because I wanted to keep them safe, and I loved you enough to teach you manners and respect. I loved you so much that I chose to put you and your needs first, before my own. I loved you enough to let you stumble, struggle and fall so you could learn to stand up again and find your strength. I love you so much that I risked finding my happiness and worth, so you could learn to value your women and your mom. I love you so much that your happiness still surpasses my own.

I hope you never feel alone, no matter how near or far apart we are. “Just believe in yourself and remember you only fail when you stop trying. Never forget that whatever you go through, no matter what, I’ll always love you.” While I can’t promise to be here for the rest of your life, I can promise to love you for the rest of mine. You are capable of achieving anything you put your mind to. Losing is never an option. You either win or you learn. Aim for the stars. Life is your gift. You were my gift. The moment I knew you existed was the moment my life changed forever.

“To my sons, I wish you the strength to face challenges with confidence, along with the wisdom to choose your battles carefully. I wish you adventure on your journey and may you always stop to help someone along the way. Listen to your heart and take risks carefully. Remember how much you are loved. I am so proud of you! I love you.”-momquotes. My boys are my world and now that they are grown and have their own lives and women that love them more then I could of ever of dreamed of, I must continue to learn how to let go and accept my new role in their lives. My sons are strong, independent, loving men. They work hard and love deeply. I did a good job. With their wings they continue to soar high in the sky and I can’t wait to see what life continues to have in store for them both.

To all you moms out there, whether you have sons or daughters, you are amazing. I thank those moms that were before me who gave me the example of what kind of mom I wanted to be and I’m grateful to the moms who showed me how I didn’t want to be. Life is a journey and being a mom has by far surpassed anything I’ve ever done in this life worth doing. Nothing in this life compares to being a mom and I’m blessed to call Tommy and Kevin, my sons. I love you both. Until next time, I hope you have the greatest of days and don’t forget, Love Life++

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